


Understanding

by adafrog



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-23
Updated: 2013-03-23
Packaged: 2017-12-06 04:48:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/731598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adafrog/pseuds/adafrog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Name:Understanding<br/>Author: Adafrog<br/>Verse: SG-1<br/>Pairing: Cam, Teal'c friendship<br/>Summary: Cam has trouble with memories.<br/>Rating:G<br/>A/N: Inspired by the sf_friday48 Challenge, but didn't get it even started until Monday. <br/>(written in 2006)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Understanding

Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchell sat in the middle of the dark locker room. He had thought he was okay enough to go home, but after the talk with General Landry, he hadn't gotten two steps from the room when the memories came back full force. He sat back down rather than kill some other innocent person, this time on the road. The hardness of the bench unknown to the man, arms wrapped around himself, chest on his knees. 

All his superior officers assured him he was not at fault. The orders had been given, and he followed them, as a good little pilot did. What had that made him, then-a robot? He laughed to himself, realizing he almost sounded hysterical, but not caring. It's fine for them to give their platitudes and false reassurances, but everyone knows pilots aren't unthinking automatons. Besides, a man takes responsibility for his actions, isn't that what his father always said?

Taking a deep breath, he tried to get himself back under control. Realizing it wasn't working, he took a few more. 'Come on, Cam,' he thought to himself, 'you've done this before, you'll have to just do it again.' Except this time, they weren't going back into their little box in the back of his mind. 'Probably because there was also the very not pleasant memory of Reya's murder. At least I don't have her screams echoing through head anymore. No, just the knowledge that, again, some innocent person is killed, and no one cares.' 

Suddenly standing, he slams his fist into the nearest locker, then leans his head on it, trying not to cry. 

A noise near the entrance interrupted his thoughts. 'Crap, I knew this was a bad place to do this.' Forcing his face into a neutral position, he turned to greet the intruder. Even unable to see the face through the half light, he could still identify the man.

"Teal'c," he exclaimed, somewhat surprised. 

Stoic as ever, Teal'c did not register surprise at seeing his team leader. "Cameron Mitchell," he intoned. "I did not see you. I am sorry to have intruded, I will leave." He turned to leave.

"No. Teal'c," he called. "This isn't my private locker room. I probably shoulda gone to my room, but..." he trailed off, not quite sure how to finish the statement, especially to a warrior such as Teal'c, who he'd never even seen so much as out of sorts. He hastily rubbed away the tears, hoping the lack of light hid them, knowing it hadn't. "Go ahead, get what you need. Time for me to head home, anyway." Shoving his hands in his pockets, he started for the door.

Teal'c remained silent until his team leader was about to pass him, then stood slightly straighter, and spoke quietly. "Cameron Mitchell."

Cameron stopped, and looked Teal'c in the eyes; waited for him to continue.

"I, too, have participated in the slaughter of..." he paused, the word still strange on his tongue, "civilians."

With a rueful smile, Cam shook his head. "God Teal'c. I never meant to..." He paced back, and sat on the bench, shoulders slumped, mumbled, "...if anyone should be upset..." He was quiet a few moments, then looked back up at the big Jaffa. "How do you do it, Teal'c?"

Stepping further into the room, the older warrior contemplated his leader. 

'Probably thinking how to get me to the padded room without much trouble.' He wanted to get up and walk away, but instead waited for Teal'c to speak.

"As a Jaffa under Apophis, I did many things I deeply regret. I cannot blame Apophis for this, as I did have a choice. Death may have seemed the better choice at times.

"I still carry the memories. They must be kept in order to remind yourself why you are fighting. But they need not be remembered constantly. That clouds the mind, brings confusion, which is folly."

Cameron continued to look at Teal'c, contemplating his words. Finally standing, he offered sincerely, "thanks, Teal'c."

Giving his leader a nod, Teal'c added, "you are a capable leader, Cameron Mitchell. I am glad to serve with you."

In momentary shock at how the words echoed his earlier thoughts, he didn't notice the larger man moving until he had his arm in a firm grip. Breaking out of his haze, he returned the grip with a nod. And finally, knowing he truly wasn't alone, he offered a smile. "See you tomorrow, Teal'c. Another day, another trip to new and exciting worlds."

"Indeed."


End file.
